Why “kisseshello”?

10 03 2010

Ok well this will be your first glimpse at how I get from one random thought to another.

I was watching “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” and one of the questions was something about how during the whole Swine Flu panic the French government discouraged its citizen from taking part in “la bise” which is the act of kissing hello and goodbye. I liked the idea of hello kisses (only from pre-approved individuals though) so I googled it to see if “kisseshello” was available. I’ve been thinking about starting this blog for a while but every time I find a name I like someone else is using it or there are other random things out there called something similar that I wouldn’t want to be mistaken for.

The first result that showed up was for the episode of Seinfeld called, “The Kiss Hello.” I remember this episode and like how Jerry is ostracized because he won’t participate in the social custom of la bise. I thought that it was actually pretty symbolic of my own aversion to being social so I decided to go with it.

That’s kind of the whole reason I decided to do this. I’m almost 28 years old and am terrified of people and society in general. Clearly this is something that is not healthy so I’m seriously trying to learn how not to keep everyone at arm’s length. When I was in therapy (story for another time) they recommended journaling everyday. I do like keeping journals but I rarely go back and read them. If writing thoughts down stopped them from floating around in my head that would be awesome, but it doesn’t. This is why I’m trying a different approach.

If I’m going to learn how to interact with people putting it all out there for anyone to read seems like a good start. I’m not really sure who my target audience is but maybe someone will take comfort in knowing that they aren’t the only one who is terrified of calling to order a pizza. I’m going to force myself to step out of my comfort zone and writing this down, available for anyone to read, makes me feel more accountable. It’s easy to tell myself I’m going to try new things but who’s going to know if I don’t? Now if I say I’m going to do something and I don’t, there will theoretically be people here to gently remind me.

I do have one major supporter who is surprisingly good at motivating me to do things that I wouldn’t dream of doing otherwise. He also listens when I’m upset and gets me to see things from another perspective but I don’t want to use his good nature as a crutch too often because I don’t know what I’d do without him :)

So stay tuned for more random musings as I try to figure out who I want to be and how I’m going to get there…

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