overwhelmed…out of control

25 10 2010

So it’s the end of October and I’m feeling a little overwhelmed today…as usual. There are only 2 months left this year and I feel like i’m over scheduled. Like everything is planned out and I’m just running from place to place trying to keep up until I get to the finish line. Get up, go to work, go to class, come home, do homework, laundry, go to the grocery, cook, clean, organize, read, work on craft projects, visit people…it just never stops. This is probably why I am resisting doing anything productive while I’m at work because it’s easily to not be accountable all the time. Yes I have a million things to do at work but right now no one is questioning me about any of it.

Sometimes I wish the internet had never been invented. Then I could work in a library where there are only books. I know people think librarians read all day and some days I wish that were true. I wish I could get paid to read all day. I kind of wish I could write but I’m just afraid I don’t have any original thoughts or that I’ll unconsciously plagiarize something else I’ve read. So many books have been written that it’s hard to imagine what’s left to write about. Then I read an awesome book and think, “that’s a great idea…why didn’t I think of that?” Maybe I just haven’t figured out what I want to do with my life because I’m just not aware of whatever career is out there that would be perfect for me. Or I’m lazy…some days it’s hard to tell.

Ok time to go home, clean the kitchen, go to the grocery, unpack our suitcase, put in some laundry, make dinner…the list goes on and on of course.

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