trying not to be fat

14 12 2010

I started a google doc that I’ve named the “trying not to be fat journal”. I started it about 2 weeks ago but I’ve already fallen back into bad habits. Seriously though…only crazy people try to start dieting (uh I mean a life style change) right before the holidays. I’m writing this like I’m telling you a story because just listing what I eat is boring. Also I shared it with Mark…knowing that he has access keeps me honest.

Here is today’s entry:

I haven’t written in a week. As you may suspect, I haven’t been doing very well. I got McDonald’s on the way home from class Thursday. Mark was at bowling, I was starving and decided it was more efficient to eat while I was driving so I would have plenty of time to…well I don’t remember what but I’m sure it was important. On Saturday I pretty much stayed in bed all day because I felt like crap and didn’t eat until Mark got me Taco Bell for dinner. Honestly, I requested Subway but they were closed before Mark made it there. Yesterday I did have Subway on the way home from work because Mark didn’t want anything since he ate a late lunch. Other than that I’ll I’ve been eating is the vegetable soup I made on Sunday. There’s beef broth but no actual meat so it’s probably fairly healthy. But seriously, all the fiber is killing me…so much farting…makes me feel un-ladylike. Did you notice there are only like 10 days until Christmas? It’s almost impossible to avoid all of the dishes of candy, plates of cookies, tins of peppermint bark, etc that are loitering on every desk at work.

I know. I know. I’m just tired of stressing about it so I’m not going to worry about it until the first of the year…but that doesn’t mean I’m giving myself a free pass to eat everything I see. I went to the doctor today for a medicine checkup and the scale said 214. Yes…two hundred and fourteen pounds. Emily’s bathroom scale only said 208 this morning and I was wearing super heavy shoes at the doctor’s…but that still doesn’t make me feel any better about the number on their scale. Once again, I’ve reached a new fattest-I’ve-ever-been-weight. It makes me sick.

Not that I remembered that sick feeling when Mark made pigs in a blanket (or “hogs in a quilt” as they are¬†affectionately called at our house) for dinner…after I ate the rest of my pint of whatever flavor ice cream that was. Omg I’m hopeless.




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